Dear Alana,
Hey baby girl I want to tell you about me that you don’t
know yet. I see so much of me in you and would like to somewhat prepare you for
life and what you have waiting for you.
Starting with when I was your age I lived in Lake Oswego
with Grandma Cherri and Grandpa Kent. I lived there tell I was around 12 or 13
from there I moved to Tualatin and was there for a year and completed fifth
grade that summer I moved to the Beaverton Aloha area. There I had my own room
with a waterbed and anything I could ever ask for from grandma and grandpa I
was on the track and field team for three out of the four years I was in high
school and one point my high school made state but I was not able to go since I
was sick and they didn’t want me to compete since I had mononucleosis I was out
of school and work for a month in this time I also lost my job because of it.
After high school I met a very caring guy so I thought I
was with him for three and a half years in the begging it was like a fairy tale
and as the years pass things got really rocky and we started pushing each other
away then we tried to work things out just like me and your father has done
over the years because we love each other so very much. At that point in the
relationship my boyfriend at the time got me into drinking and partying a lot
and one thing led to another and got me doing drugs from weed to meth where I
got hooked and was on meth for the last three months of our relationship so he
could cheat on me with one of my so called friends at the time. A few days after I found out about what he
did got a call from Grandpa Kent to have me move back home so I could take care
of him he would not tell me why I needed to help. So the day I went into work and
talked to my boss at the time to let him know what was going on and that I had
to move back home to take care of my dad. So I went home that day and packed up
all of my belongings to move back home with Grandma and Grandpa where the in
home nurse talked to me to let me know what going on with my father at that
point I found out Grandpa was dying from Esophageal Cancer it was the hardest
thing to hear that my father the only man in my life that I loved so much was
dying. So after I found out I was home all day and worked night to help Grandma
out with bills I took care of grandpa giving him all his meds and helping him
get around the house and changing his IV’s and morphine drip so that way the
last little bit of time he had left he was comfortable and not in too much
pain. One day I had to work days and so
did grandma so we had Grandpas aunt and uncle come take care of him me not knowing
that it was his last day I came home from work and made dinner Grandpa didn’t
eat that night and asked if me and grandma could put him in bed so he could
rest. Every few hours her and I would go check on him to make sure he was doing
okay and not in a lot of pain it was my turn I went into the bedroom and went
to his side and saw that his chest was not going up and down I felt for a pulse
and felt nothing so I yelled for grandma she came down to the room to see him
and she said that he was gone. That night Grandma and I went spent the night at
great grandma’s house he sat up all night talking about grandpa the happy
memories and the not so happy ones we even had a few laughs about how silly he
was. A week later we had a funeral for him it was so beautiful one of grandmas
friends that she worked with sang Andy Griggs - If Heaven it fill grandpa to a T everyone showed up even grandpas
brothers and sister that we have not seen in a very long time. It was a good
day to remember Grandpa and all the good that he did and to be around the
family and see how much they really miss him.
The
start of a new chapter the day I met your father it was just a normal day off
from work I was going to go shopping and do a few other things I had planned
then I get a text message from one of my coworker seeing if I wanted to go get
lunch and maybe a drink with him and his friend I said yes why not I could put
things on hold. So I started getting ready for them to stop by and pick me up.
There was a knock on the door and grandma got it for me since I was still
getting ready to go out it was 3:00pm I finished up and came out of the
bathroom and there was my coworker and his friend your father I looked and him
and smiled and he smiled back at me. So we left the house and went up the
street to the little bar on the corner West Union Bar where we shot pool and
had a few drinks. Then we went a crossed the street to grab and bit to eat at
the Mad Greek Deli where we had dinner after we finished dinner we went back to
West Union Bar for a few more games off pool and drinks by the time we left it
was 10:30pm I got dropped off at home.
The
next day Dad called me and asked if I wanted to go out on a date I said yes. So
we went out for dinner and a movie and drinks after the movie we did that for a
few months dating and hanging out. On March 3rd daddy asked me out
as his girlfriend I said yes after that about two months went past and we moved
in together. From there we made a lot of new friends and started doing SCA (Society for Creative
Anachronism) events where we would get together with a big
group of people and dress up like pirates for the weekend and drink and play
games and playing with fire like fire dancing and breathing fire. A few months
after that myself and dad moved into the beautiful house it had seven bedroom
and three and a half baths three floors and a back yard that over looked a wet
land it was dad and I and eight other people in the house. There were a lot of
parties and drugs and other things that we did. Your dad and lived there for a
year and it was fun but we were getting older and out of the partying life
style so we moved out and got our own two bed room apartment. I was working
full time and dad was working one full time job and one part time job. It was
six months into living on our own and I found out that I was pregnant with you
and I was still working I was always sick with heartburn so I had to switch my
schedule at work and work evens and not mornings since I was late a lot and I
needed to keep my job. Therefore, I was working for another three months and I
get called into my bosses office. He said since I was always sick and missing a
lot of work because of it he had to let me go I was not happy and neither was
your dad but shit happens in life and you have to move on so dad kept his two
jobs and I stayed home. It was about two months after I lost my job and your
father said that we could not afford to live on our own so I thought let us get
a roommate. So we had our friend Hillaree move in cause at that time see was
working and pay rent that only lasted two weeks then she was fired so dad and I
both decided to move in with Grandma Peggy. Not knowing that it was going to be
the biggest mistake in our lives with me being pregnant with you and living
with her. I was her house bitch since I was not working I cleaned every day had
dinner ready by the time everyone got home did the laundry cleaned house and even
packet and un packet stuff. Things where fine for a little while when we first
moved in then we had a family reunion down at Sun river with daddy’s side of
the family it was about four weeks before you were due when we wet and everyone
was afraid that I was going to have you down their but I knew that would not happen.
So after being down at Sun river for a week we came home the day after we came
home we went and got pictures down for your baby book and a few for the wall. Two
days later, I could not feel you moving very much so I went to the doctors and
they said I could have you at any time well daddy and I went home. I was home
for about three days and I told your father that it is time so we went to the hospital.
The doctors checked me and said for me to go home and sleep so I did that night
I said fuck it you were ready no matter what so we went back to the hospital
where they hooked me up to all kinds of thing to watch you and make sure
nothing bad happens. After a little while, my contractions started getting
worse to the point where I was in tears because it hurt so badly. So buy that
point they came in the room and gave me my epidural witch is a big long needle
that they put in your back for pain. So after they did that I was able to sleep
all night even when the nurses came in and checked to see how I was doing daddy
was so tired because every time they would come in he would wake up but I would
just sleep. I got about twelve hours of amazing sleep the best I think I ever
had. It was around 10:00 am and the doctor came in this time to check me and she
said that you were ready there was no way to keep you in. Therefore, she got
everything ready for you to come in into the world. So when she got everything
ready she told me to start pushing so I did in the process I was also thronging
up. With a few short pushes your head popped out and the rest of your body followed
I was the most happiest person in the world at that moment in time and I also
seen your day cry for the first time ever he was like a little baby he was
super happy to finely get to meet you. We
were able to go home the day after I had you so I was happy about it. The years
went by as you got bigger and things started to go downhill at home. Grandma
started being super bitchy toads me because I was doing less around the house. At
that point I was also going to school full time and was only home for like two
hours when I was awake the rest of the time when I was home I was asleep or
taking care of you and all she did was sit in her office because at that point
she was not working. So I thought she would start doing stuff around the house
but nope I thought wrong she was even more lazy and not doing shit. So I decided
to change schools and chose to go to a culinary school, which is where I am at
now and almost done it has been a wonderful experience. I start my externship
next month, I am super excited about it as well, and I cannot believe school is
almost done and then I will be working with your father every day.
I Love you baby girl
Love
Mommy
P.S.
You can talk to me about
anything.
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